Subspace is a place I get to only rarely anymore. Although rare, it has been occurring more and more as a product of my service, particularly when I am, focused on a task that is solely for Owner. It’s a focused kind of intensity where all else but what I am experiencing is blotted out and I am filled with a sense of peace and of “this is right” It is an intense kind of joy.
Again its been awhile, this time mostly becauae we have been doing a lot of rearranging of..well everything. Owner will be returning to the working world and my dialysis scheduel will be moving to a early (6am shift) so i will have more home time. I also will be returning to school at the campus beginning january 3rd.
Its getting easier for me to control and use my girls services as time goes by. Im actually findingyself enjoing what she has to offer to a point that i am loathe to do without. T does not interfere with my ability to be in the correct headspace for Owner, which to me is a telling thing as this has been a problem before. Starting with the new year we will be implementing far more in the way of formal behavior and skit will be recieving her full formal collar as well, the ceremony is in the planning stages as i write.
The newest portion of all these changes perhaps is a new uniform code. It wouldnt look like a uniform to anyone from outside, but it is none the less. Skirts and/or slacks in black button down shirts in either black, grey or deep red and other things. Inspections will become a stancard portion of the day, as we learn how to work around the kids.
As for my blog, i confess my laxness in posting of late. I havs been depressed and confused quite often…enough that popsting seemed unwise as i did not think it would make sense. I do not know if i will be punished for this but tonight i will formally make my confession at His feet.
Well, once again I’ve managed to drop the ball. In my defense I’ve been playing catch up with school and work all the while organizing myself for a new set of priorities. My book will start taking precedence and I will be writing here and in Serving The Family far more often.
In more interesting news, I have a personal servant of my own now. Skittles moved in with us some time ago to help out when I was really sick, and somehow along the path she became my personal assistant. She’s absolutely wonderful at what she does, although it is difficult for me to accept service. Training her is no problem, I’ve done more than my fair share…but it was always at someone else’s behest. It’s a new thing to me, and one that I will need to get used to. I know that in the end it will all work out though.
My writing assignment came to an end, as in I chose to end it. I was so incredibly behind in my class work and never mind the things that I have been ordered to do and write about over the last few months. The boss wasn’t very pleased, but once I found out that she was paying me once for articles she was reselling 5 and 6 times it wasn’t hard to call it quits.
Tonight, I am spending time making sure I have all that I need in order to have a seamless week ahead of me. I hope I manage to do so.
Blah! I have absolutely no motivation this afternoon. I slept in, and that felt wonderful, now I need to work and do some schoolwork and I just can’t get going. It’s been this was for a few weeks now, as is evidenced by my lack of posting here I think.
A lot of it is due to the fact that when I woke up I was in a great mood until I saw an email from my boss speaking to me in such a condescending tone that I am taking some perverse pleasure in ignoring my work at the moment. I am not a 10 year old, and her expectations keep changing as time goes on. It’s damned frustrating.
Add on top of that, I had surgery on Friday and I am still tender and quite sore from it. –sighs- I just need to kick myself in the ass is what I need to do. I am looking for new positions I can take, new work from home opportunities that can present themselves. For the time being I have very little choice, we need this income.
I should just finish my outline for my book and get started on seeing if anyone would publish it. Then, I would know I have something to look forward to.
I will not say that it has been easy this past month while I have not written, because it hasn’t. I was hospitalized again twice in the time between now and my last writing, and having been home for a week I feel almost as if I can begin writing again.
A lot has changed since I wrote last. I am now confined to a wheelchair because of the amount of pain I experience due to rheumatoid arthritis thanks to the lupus. I also am on many other medications because of the fibromyalgia. Because of all this, the House’s 2nd girl, Camy has to attend GKE alone and I am sad. We were looking forward to it.
Also, the House has taken on a new servant, one by name of Skittles who offered herself in our time of need. She has been a wonder and a miracle worker all in one. Soon, her formal training will begin now that I am home as well.
While this has been pretty much a catch-up post, you can certainly look forward to my returning to my usual posting routine
With having been in the hospital, I have mentioned that the house turned into an absolute wreck. I have been spending the last few days with the help of a friend getting it back into something resembling organized, and I think we are getting there. The carpets are steamed and the cats are getting bathed tonight. The kitchen needs help, but that will get tackled later today when my energy starts to return.
As I am going through all this, my mind has been keenly focused on the idea of service as an art form. As I clean, I’m watching my motions to be sure that they are graceful, the line of my arm just so, my feet positioned like this and so on. Every single moment of a slaves live can be spent in service by recreating themselves into moving art, or otherwise known as the art of the geisha. It may take a lifetime to learn, and it may be difficult but it is a path that for those who take it and stick to it find very fulfilling.
I have some ideas going n my head for a series of articles addressing this art form, hopefully they will sort themselves out and become a bit more coherent.