Becoming what Owner Needs

schoolgirl, headmistress, cane, BDSM, sex   I know I’ve been gone for a while at this point, and truth be told I once again have my health to blame. Up until the beginning of last week that is. Last week I had the madness that comes with the increase of size of Owner’s Home. 2 new people were taken in, both were “saved” from one bad situation or another and during this week I truly learned what it meant to be first girl and Trainer.

It came first with orienting the new people to the house and figuring out what their individual standpoints were, other relationships that they were in, skills needs etc. That alone was exhausting. However, then came assigning of chores, adjusting them and meting out punishments when rules were broken, including 2 caning episodes in one day.

Most will say “well, that’s not too bad, right?” well the interesting part of this equation was the one male who came to us first as a Dom then realizing that he was likely a sub. He spent the entire week and a few days that he was here before he was shown the door trying to subvert the house hierarchy and my authority and the authority of the girl i placed in charge when I was not available. After several direct lies his status was ended and he was shown the street.  I have an entirely new respect for Doms/Masters/Owners etc who have to deal with a submissive with less than pure intentions and how absolutely exhausting it can be as well as potentially damaging to the House itself if there is not a strong core, like we are privileged to have.

To those who would like to start their own House: Have a screening process in place before taking in ANYONE as a boarder/room mate/House mate!  We made the mistake of taking the word of this person’s references and they in the end did not know him well either. The heartache, stress, pain and several hundred dollar plumbing bill that he caused by not listening to the direction to NOT TOUCH IT by my second in command could have been avoided by asking several well placed questions, or just following my gut. I thought I was being cynical, a trait that Owner is not fond of but now respects after this.

Knowing that i am becoming the slave that my Owner needs me to be though, gives me the strength to carry on. I have grown in my service over the years and looking back I barely recognize the girl i was 5 1/2 years ago when He collared me.


Work Outs and Health

Are you required to work out or keep in shape? Is that something closely monitored by your Master/Owner, or is that an area in which you are expected to be proactive?

submissive journal prompts, bdsm, sex, forced exercise, health, Kidney disease While Owner does not have a specific set of orders along this line, I am required to keep to the diet and exercise plan that my doctor has made for me that is in preparation for my kidney transplant. The doctors want me to be more active and to loose about 20 lbs (which I have already done and I am working on taking 20 more off since I feel so much better)

I learned the hard way that the best way to serve Master is to take good care of Master’s property.

With that in mind, I’ve been considering asking owner to implement something along these lines since I often will shunt exercising to the wayside in preference of doing housework. I’ve done this with other things and its not turned out so well, like my infected tooth.

Preparing to move forward

making slave scheudels, BDSM, slavery, Focus, Mindset, SexToday I am preparing a list of future topics for my blogs. As well as a general schedule of when I will be posting them. I’m finding that if I do things with a schedule I get more done. I hate it, I’ve had a love/hate relationship with lists and schedules since my high school days but perhaps that’s all the more reason to actually use them. My productivity has been higher since I’ve come up with ways to make sure that I get the things done in a day that I plan on doing and it does a good deal for my self esteem as well.

It seems as if things in the house are moving in a good direction. Things are moving around physically (as in my desk and office stuff is now downstairs where I can easily access it and take care of the kids at the same time)and what was the dining room is now much more like an office/classroom than it was before. I find I’m not minding though, even though I thought I would.

As I get my scheduel streamlined, I hope to post the process here however at a glance today looks like this:

  • 6am Wake up
  • email, facebook, breakfast general wake up stuff for me
  • 7:30am get kids up
  • feed kids
  • dress kids
  • Offer to let them go outside
  • Pick up a bit
  • Dialysis 10am

…After Dialysis I guess we will see what I’m capable of…

Just annoyed

slavery, bdsm, M/s, sex, God, girls, annoyance, stress, sick, tooth ache No it wasn’t a bad day, per se. I just cannot stand being sick. The antibiotics make my tummy hurt and the pain medication makes me loopy and useless. Owner has been very awesome about taking care of things while I recover. Thing is: I don’t want Him to have to. He seems to have found His groove when it come to freelancing His writing and I want to give Him every possible opportunity I can to succeed. I can’t do this while I’m flat on my back and in pain.


Long belated Floating World recap post.

The Floating World 2011, Sex, service, BDSM, conferences, spanking, OTK, Taken In HandI had a fantastic time. I was lucky to have a fun trip out and back and to have fantastic roommates the entire time. Thank you, Sir Jakal and his Kitty and Camy!

The classes I took were fantastic. The teachers were very well informed and very approachable. I will be posting my notes from those classes this weekend. Saturday night most likely.

I was privileged to serve as a demo bottom for Sir_C’s class on erotic catheters and sounds, which while not a completely new thing to me, still brought me to a place of immense joy to be so exposed and so publicly.

The majority of the classes I attended were for service oriented slaves and I learned quite a bit about how to manage myself and perhaps how to manage others more effectively. This is a good thing since Owner and Master are on the hunt (a long term slow hunt) for another girl.

When I returned I was introduced to the concept of “event drop”. Not something I like but I suspect is almost unavoidable to some degree. I enjoy intensity, and that kind of environment offers it in a way that is impossible to maintain at all times and I found myself missing it. After realizing what was going on, some chocolate, diet coke and a movie later and I was feeling much better thankfully. It also helped that Owner was happy to implement some of the changes and more formal things I learned into our lives.

Well, that’s all for now, notes to come this weekend.

The reason I did not answer my phone

Bondage, chains, BDSM, freshly fucked, sex, demons, angels, lust, sex, bed

All Tied Up

I was tied up with something and unable to get free. Owner decided it was time that I went back to sleeping with chains on. This photo was taken after being fucked absolutely senseless in an amazing scene that can be best described as “Ritual gone wrong, Oops I called a demon..and it wants me.”